Am I alone?

am i the only one who worries endlessly that something terrible is going to happen to their child? i mean really...i must worry about this at least once a day. it started the minute i found out i was pg. the entire pregnancy i worried that jett would die. mike and i even discussed what we would and would not do if he was born before 30 wks. when i was in labor, he began having a slow heart rate with contractions, he had to be vacuumed out of me. when he came out, there was silence...i thought to myself..."i knew it, i knew he wouldn't make it out alive". how messed up is that? does everyone feel this way?

jett is a terrible sleeper, i mean really, super terrible. he sleeps with us and wakes up frequently. i said before, i will not let him cry himself to sleep. so, i deal with these wake ups. usually he goes to bed about 1900 or close to it. he finally will sleep a couple of hours before his first wake up. the last week or so, he has been waking up sooner and more frequently. he has been sick so i imagine that is the cause. it could also be teething, he doesn't deal well with that. tonight though, he went to sleep at 1900 and it is now 2216 and we haven't heard a peep out of him. so naturally, i am worried. i go check on him and have to lay my hand on him to make sure he is breathing. he is. is this a strange thing to think about? how do mothers put their babies to bed and then go sleep in another room without a care? will i be checking on him until he moves away? and then what? frequent calls to his home throughout the night? this is nuts! he has a bed, in a room that is his but do i put him in it? nope, too damn scared. am i alone?