No crying here

so, i guess i'll start with the cry it out (cio) issue. we don't, won't and never will let our son cry himself to sleep. to put it simply, i think it's mean. it's fine if people want to do it but please don't tell me i should. i bet you are asking, "does that precious little angel sleep through the night?".....um, nope not even close. i am quite certain that he will eventually and when he does, we will rejoice. he is getting better and i finally have a few blissful hours to myself in the evening because mike has taken over the putting to bed business. it works great! we do bathtime and then read several books and then he gets a bottle of milk and happily drinks it with daddy beside him and goes to sleep. this is a HUGE step towards normal for us. it took about two weeks for him to adjust...he used to cry and cling to me when the last book was read but then one night it just stopped. i cried. tears of joy and pride for my little boy and his daddy. why am i proud? because he can go to sleep and remain that way for a couple of hours and he never once cried himself to sleep wondering why his mama wouldn't come for him.

for the entire first year of his life i did ALL of the nighttime parenting (my choice) funny thing, for the first year, i would nurse him to sleep on my lap while i was on the computer and then transfer him to his "throne", a down pillow placed on his carseat and then eventually to his co-sleeper that sat between mike and i when he got bigger. we literally had to tiptoe and whisper so he would not wake up. i was terrified that he would die of sids so i HAD to keep him where i could see him. that's why we ended up co-sleeping. we did try everything we could think of to get him to sleep better but from the start he was a horrible sleeper, waking frequently and unable to return to sleep without nursing. no-one other than me could put him to sleep for several months.

so, as much as i love co-sleeping on the good nights, i am ready for him to move to his own bed. we finally got him one and took down the crib that was not used one time but i have yet to make the move. it's a bittersweet thing. i want him to sleep in his own bed so i can sleep better and so he can have his space but will miss the sweet things. having a snugly little fella next to you definitely is sweet. and no, he won't be crying himself to sleep in his new bed.

now back to the cio issue. i have done a ton of online reading about this and have come to the realization that our culture is one of the few that do not participate in the family bed. in other cultures it is natural to take your child to bed and nurse throughout the night. i believe that we have pushed our babies away from us in so many ways in order to make life as a parent easier. i once read a quote somewhere that said, "as a parent you are raising a child not managing an inconvenience". i love that quote. my job as jett's mom is to parent him 24 hours a day. that means helping him through the night lovingly, parenting him through the day and when i cannot be with him, finding an acceptable replacement which for us is grandparents. it just doesn't seem right to say that it's time for bed, get to sleep however you can and i will be there for you in the morning. i expected some inconveniences when i became a parent and yes, night time is tiring but it feels right to meet his needs. but like i said, i will certainly rejoice when he makes it through the night.